The 'No Offense' Offence

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Submitted by brad on



Sun, 10/03/2010 - 07:52

It seems like half the people on the internet are so egotistical, they think the world cares about their thoughts and observations. Any idiot with a connection can blog. Ummm... no offence.

I have a new favorite dig, namely, the 'No offense' offence.  Simpy put, it goes like this:

<sitting with person you despise>
Boy, that anchor on channel 6 is one nasty lookin' hosebag
<pause, as if realizing you've just described the person you're talking to>
...No offense.

It's just that simple, It's akin to saying "I can't stand talking to idiots...present company excluded".  It implies they share the negative attributes, under the guise of apologising.  I ruin all subtlety by using it 10 times a minute. In theory, however, if done minimally with enough sincerity, you could appear oblivious enough that the person would be ticked, but silently so. The kind where there isn't enough certainty of intent to say anything, but enough offense that they'd still be thinking about it when they got home. "Do you know what that jerk Brad said to me today?". In theory. I've never been one for subtlety.

I don't know if it would work as well online.  A lot of context is lost in text. Tone, delivery, etc.  Half the people using the internet these days are so mindnumbingly dumb, they can't string together enough brain cells or attention span to read a 15 line blog to the end, let alone interpret offense.