Once around the (Writer's) Block

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Submitted by brad on Mon, 05/10/2010 - 23:59

Well, it's been a while since I've posted.  I think the problem is, I don't have enough of a life to sustain a blog. Hard to get the blood riled up sitting on my comfy couch zoning out to television.  Still, it's been awhile, so let's see...hmm. Ok - This is a tried and true comedy trope. So much it's a bit of a hack in my opinion, but the well's a little dry. Plus, it's never been told with my particular brand of wit and charm.  So, yes - let's talk about the differences between kids 1 and 3.  This is not to say I love one more or less, it's just...different. I'm sure someone's 20th skydive is just as exciting as their first, but it's still different.  You know what to expect  You can eat the big breakfast beforehand with fear of vomit. Skip the backup underwear. Anyway without further delay, I present:

Things You Learn From One Kid to the Next

1. Everyone stumbles (Or: Haw! Haw! You fell)
- When Kid #1 fell down the stairs, we panicked. I will have that image seared into my brain forever, that feeling of horror. We immediately rushed to the children's hospital and waited for hours to see a doctor, even though she quickly seemed perfectly normal.
- When Kid #2 fell down the stairs, we felt bad.  We checked her out for a bit, decided we'd better play it safe, and went to the hospital.  We left about about an hour, when it became apparent that she was fine.
- When Kid #3 fell down the stairs, well...I may have yelled "Can someone check on him? I think he might've fell." I was sitting next to the stairs.

2. They Survive Outside the Bubble (Or: Is that poo or chocolate on his pants?)
- If I ever saw Kid #1 even looking at sand in her hand, I would have the wet wipes out, followed by a thorough scrubbing when we got home.
- If Kid #2 tried to eat sand, I would do my best "pooey!", brush it off with my fingers, and maybe remember to wash when we got home.
- Kid #3...I was curious to see how it played out.  Would he eat it and love it, or try to make a sure-to-be hilarious spitty face?

3. Crying Doesn't Hurt (Or: Turn up the TV!)
- Kid #1, it was hard to listen to her cry.  I'd volunteer to help, get up at night with her, rock her and sign to her, until finally we realized it was time to let her start sleeping through the night.  If it was the middle of the day I'd wonder what was wrong. Try to feed her, change, her, rock her, anything.
- Kid #2, I didn't get up quite so often. I realize that even though it's hard, babies cry. It's normal, you can't always determine why, and it passes. Just be there for her, and do what you can.
- Kid #3 Honestly, it's kinda aggravating.  Goes right up my spine.

4. Childbirth is a safe and natural process (Or: Ever look for a 4 leaf clover and find one? Kinda cool, right? Ever look twice? Three times? Thought so)
- Prior to Kid #1, I was SCARED. Did we have everything, are we prepared, what is it going to be like? Followed quickly by: Is that a normal sound? How does the head come out? OH MY GOD what is that thing?!? I held Shannon's hand, I was stuck to her side, and the relief afterwards was amazing. It was surreal. I was confused, scared, happy. Then I took some pictures.
- For Kid #2, I stayed close but I took some pictures, called everyone to say it was time, chatted a bit. I was a little worried about how safe it was to have a baby that large, slightly nervous when she came out purple, and relieved to have her in the world. 
- For Kid #3. That pregnancy took forever.  On the day of I left Shannon to find our grandniece, delivered the night before.  I also spent some time getting the camera positioned right, and may have asked if we could do an other take.  But this one had a penis, so that was new.

5. Not every picture's worth a thousand words.
- We're not that good at pictures to begin with, but with Kid #1, you could sometimes make a flipbook out of our rapid fire photo.
- With Kid #2, we have some nice shots. We made an effort to take pictures at birthdays, Christmas, things like that.
- Kid #3, we're not sure where the flash card is for our camera. 

Anyway. I'm getting tired, this isn't exactly pulitzer material and Kid #3 is up and crying which cuts through my thought patterns; so I'll end it there. I'll try to do some more living between now and the next blog.

Again, as a disclaimer for the kids: I love you. There's nothing sweeter than a sleeping baby, and you were all amazingly adorable.  Each of you are unique, and I fondly remember moments of each of you as a baby.  Gillian, I remember this gurgling bubble singsong you used to do. We have video of it. Mara, you had this low throaty laugh when you were being funny. Think of a gravelly voiced french man going "haw haw haw".  And Ryan, well - you grabbedd yourself in a kung fu grip every time we opened your diaper. Depending on when you're reading this, it may no longer be as cute.