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Chattin' with Saget

Submitted by brad on

In anticipation of my impending meet'n'greet with Bob Saget, I've been thinking of what to say during our brief yet awkward 20 second encounter. Top Ten Things to Say to Bob Saget 10. "Will you folllow me on Twitter?" 9. "I love you in How I Met Your Mother" 8. "Have you met........Ted?" 7. "Remember my face. Remember. My. Face." 6. "Could you move to the side? I'd like one of my wife and I." 5. "Why didn't you air any of my videos? Do you know how hard it is to get a cat into a dress?" 4.

Daddy Merest

Submitted by brad on
I've just finished watching Taken 2 and I feel I have to comment on a disturbing trend in movies. Taken, Taken 2, Live Free or Die Hard. It's been growing every year. A subtle, insidious cancer, designed to break family bonds, sow discontent between father and child, and ruin the the traditional family unit. I'm talking about ultra violent super dads. Now, I love my kids. I do. Right now they're sleeping quietly in another room and I love 'em even more than I did when they were right here with me. Jumping, yelling, screaming, and sassing me.

Day 2 - Great Falls

Submitted by brad on
He Said: 8:00AM - Breakfast - Interior. Cut to a table in the back corner of your basic hotel breakfast bar. A family of 5 are sitting there. The father, rugged and handsome, has his back to us. The mother, natural yet stunning, cups her hands around her coffee, as if the heat emanating from it is somehow recharging her very essence. The daughters, youthful and sweet, eat cereal politely, albeit with mouths never quite closed enough. And then we see the boy. He wasn't noticed at first, head under the table, short in stature as he is.

Happy Anniversary

Submitted by brad on
It's that time again. I've been lobbying every year and it's still not on the calendar, but you all know it's here. I can't think 'Happy Anniversary' without hearing Barney and Fred serenade Wilma (that's right, I said Barney & Fred, not the reverse. Deal with it). It's stuck in my head like an icepick to the brain. And speaking of icepicks to the brain...Happy Anniversary to my wonderful wife! As the classic Abbott & Costello routine goes: "Can you tell me how many years you've been married?" Nein! "C'mon, just tell me" Nein! "Jerk".

That's my girl!

Submitted by brad on
I'm afraid I may have made a grave, grave, mistake with my children this year. 2-7 years of exemplary parenting has been undone in a single motion. As I may have set in motion a chain of events that could lead to a destructive tyranny as yet unseen in this world, I feel I must publicly apologise. As good politically correct enlightened parents, we have endeavoured to guide our children to raise above their baser human nature. How hard can it be to override centuries of consistent, repeatedly demonstrated behaviour?

Someone's Sad Samsung Story

Submitted by brad on
I know, my return should be a trifle more auspicious than griping and moaning, but it is what it is. The fire in my belly has long been extinguished by the daily struggle to survive work, three continuously sick kids, and neverending house renos. If something's motivated me enough to write I might as well embrace it before it fades. Enter Samsung. On Boxing Day I bought a PN59A550. I'd reseaarched it for some time and it seemed like a good combination of features and price. Plus I've always been a Samsung fun.

Holy Insecurities Batman!

Submitted by brad on

Whenever I try to play Batman with Ryan, he's quite insistent that "No, you're Robin!".  Two years old and he already thinks >I'M< the sidekick? Time to make a child cry.  I can't quite decide if that's immature or sound parenting. Isn't it a Dad's job to make sure his children are humble and respectful? A litle fatherly reality check?

I was thinking I'd start with:

"A sidekick who can eat candy whenever he wants and doesn't crap his pants! " <KAPOW!>

And follow that up with a dash of:

Scanning the Cosmos

Submitted by brad on

I was in the check out line today and noticed Cosmo offering up "50 ways to seduce a man in a minute or less". Fifty? Why?  Here's four guaranteed ways right off the top of my head. 1. Exist. 2. Look at him. 3. Make contact in any way, even if it's to pull noodles off his t-shirt. And if he's really playing hard to get, there's always - 4. Look at him and say "Wanna?".