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Pobody's Nerfect

Submitted by brad on

Pardon me a moment while I dust off the old soapbox here...I was originally going to write something sardonic about Sheen. Who doesn't love a good train wreck? I was going to get my piece of the fun. I was playing with it in my head, teasing out the words. Then, joy of joys, along came Alexandra Wallace with her rant against asian cell phone users and my story morphed into something even better.  I could lampoon her, Sheen, the whole culture of 'epic fail'. I even had a segueway to Gary Busy. I  was almost giddy. Then along came Rebecca Black who ruined it all.

Worst Entry Ever.

Submitted by brad on
I hesitate to put this out there, but so little else happens in my life worth mentioning.  Last night I had quite possibly the most traumatic, embarassing, humiliating moment of my life. One of those moments that I will wince to think about for years.  If I were to take my life tomorrow, people would say "Y'know - I get it". That'd be in addition to the already expected sighs of relief and raucous partying, but that's another story.

My only excuse, I'll say in advance, is lack of sleep. My head was bobbing. In any case - this is my mea culpa:

Driving Miss Daisy

Submitted by brad on
I came up with a guaranteed moneymaker on my way home today. First off, let me refer you to my previous blogs where I talk about how much I respect women. On the one hand, I feel bad for my daughters and the human race in general. On the other hand, as long as it ain't my daughters - picture this: Hooters meets cab company.

There'd be a second rearview mirror, strategically pointed chestward, and every car would be a standard. With bad shocks.

"Large parties? No problem! Our girls can take 3 in the rear and one in the front!"

If I Ever

Submitted by brad on

After watching a show that shall remain nameless, I just want to make this quick plea for your help and compassion.

Stuff I think is Cool.

Submitted by shannon on
I created this page to have a place to "pin" my own inspiration items.  The website is cool, but I needed someplace to put my own pictures (or ones I borrowed from my mom or friends) that I could also share with everyone else.  I might eventually have categories, but for now it's just a random list of things I think are interesting,

I'm a sucker for anything rainbow.  I've asked Leslie where this came from but for now I'll just borrow it without giving any credit to it's creator.....

Unicorn? More like Unihorn! Am I right?

Submitted by brad on

Well, it's been far too long since I've blogged. I may have to just start doing one liners. Or start living a more interesting life.  In any case, I still don't have much, but I thought I would start typing and see what happens.....hmm....ok, scratch that.  Let's do random obeservations over the holidays:

- Context is everything.  'May this bring you as much happiness as it has us'. On a family heirloom, sweet. On a set of sheets from your parents...not so much

"Can you see me now?"

Submitted by brad on
And you thought your roaming fees were bad...I assume by now, anybody who's anybody has seen the startling footage of the time traveller to the 30s captured on film using a cell phone.  Solid, irrefutable proof of time travel.  If you haven't, well...prepare to have your very concept of reality shattered.  Your world will never be the same again. So take a moment to breathe it in.  Look at your kids, kiss your spouse, take in the beauty of an autumn day.  Embrace the simplicity. Then prepare to be shaken to your very core.

The 'No Offense' Offence

Submitted by brad on
I have a new favorite dig, namely, the 'No offense' offence.  Simpy put, it goes like this:

<sitting with person you despise>
Boy, that anchor on channel 6 is one nasty lookin' hosebag
<pause, as if realizing you've just described the person you're talking to>
...No offense.

Teleportation is murder, (or: How I Learned to stop worrying and be da bomb!)

Submitted by brad on
I was thinking about teleporting the other day, and it led me down a bit of a rabbit hole that's been tying up my brain for awhile, hence the lack of a blog. I'm going to start with what I was thinking, then pull out my patented switcheroo again.   I think I've talked about teleportation before. I know I've thought it before. How you couldn't really have it without basically having immortality and a cure for all disease. If you can break a body down to the cellular level and either recreate or rebuild it, you've gotta be able to regrow an arm, repair a degenerated pathway in the brain, etc.

Ezekiel Encore - Performance Prolonging Visionary

Submitted by brad on
There was a recent concert by "Simple Minds" on tv the other day.  I couldn't watch it for long, but I also couldn't look away. The HD really made the quiet desperation in their eyes 'pop'. Both from the band and from the aging, balding, sweaty crowd vainly trying to lift their hands above their heads to clap. Before I pried my eyes away (and again thanks to the wonder of HD), I caught a glimpse of the set list taped to the drummers drumset in a large "Senior's Dinner Menu" font. At the bottom was a dashed line followed by two more songs.